i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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