C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
