funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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