He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
