Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
