We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
