those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Are my feet made of real feet?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
