I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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