Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
