he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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