imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
