i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
