Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
