I'm drive I can fine osifer
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
