is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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