I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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