Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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