WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
