Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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