So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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