she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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