Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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