awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
