you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
