i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No subtext here. People are naked.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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