So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
