i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
