he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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