Do you still have your period?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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