the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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