i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
