Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
