someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
