She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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