Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
