Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
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I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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