If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
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so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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