I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
