Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
