we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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