dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
