my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dick very happy bro
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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