you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
