It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
