she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
