I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
