just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
