Sponge bath it is.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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