so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
honey bunches of taint.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
