I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Found your dick twin last night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
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