trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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