i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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