i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
