it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
