Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
