Just cropdusted the office
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Life is so much better after having sex.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
