We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
