and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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