shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful