In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
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then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
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Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.