Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk

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  (410): I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/7pu8
  Replies (85) Good night (5672) Bad night (893)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?

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  (703): So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh? http://tfl.nu/suo6
  Replies (34) Good night (1171) Bad night (5017)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.

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  (785): My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/kbij
  Replies (25) Good night (5494) Bad night (1804)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city

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  (407): I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city http://tfl.nu/5mtu
  Replies (32) Good night (6255) Bad night (1138)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

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  (325): As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good, http://tfl.nu/ohf2
  Replies (11) Good night (4154) Bad night (1632)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.

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  (316): I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8zh1
  Replies (41) Good night (6049) Bad night (1782)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.

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  (816): We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly. http://tfl.nu/0x8b
  Replies (6) Good night (2116) Bad night (637)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here

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  (614): We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here http://tfl.nu/ha0m
  Replies (6) Good night (1467) Bad night (584)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.

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  (303): He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled. http://tfl.nu/tlei
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (693)
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  (619): View more from California

  I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.

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  (619): I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/w9hf
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (329)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?

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  (305): He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right? http://tfl.nu/9ey8
  Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (786)
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  (818): View more from California

  The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.

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  (818): The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married. http://tfl.nu/19r4
  Replies (3) Good night (1270) Bad night (346)
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  (716): View more from New York

  It will be interesting

  (585): View more from New York

  Isn't that your life's motto?

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  (716): It will be interesting (585): Isn't that your life's motto? http://tfl.nu/w5i1
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (481)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?

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  (315): We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like? http://tfl.nu/ue3p
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (265)
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  (716): View more from New York

  There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.

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  (716): There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober. http://tfl.nu/j70g
  Replies (3) Good night (187) Bad night (167)

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