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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn

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• (305): View more from Florida

  i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.

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