I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
