So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick