If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?