i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
