I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
