How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize