Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
