no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
