i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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