Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
